Trap #5: Trying to Force Happiness

You can’t just decide to be happy any more than you can decide to be taller. That’s because happiness is not a finite entity unto itself, but is the sum of the 12 most important qualities of happiness: love, optimism, courage, a sense of freedom, proactivity (forging your own happiness, not waiting for it to happen to you), security, health, spirituality, altruism, perspective, humor, and purpose. These are the things you should make up your mind to achieve.

Achieving these qualities is tough. But that’s the point. You wouldn’t expect to become physically fit by just deciding, right? Happiness is hard work. Fortunately, most of the 12 major qualities of happiness are intrinsically pleasant, and most of the happiness tools that help generate these elements are innately satisfying.

For example, one of the simplest and most effective things you can do to lift your mood is to simply keep a pleasant expression on your face. This was proven in a study in which half the subjects were asked to hold pens in their teeth, which made their expressions approximate a smile, while the others held pens in their lips, which created pouts. Both groups were told a series of jokes. The group with the pens in their teeth rated the jokes as funnier. Now you know the key to happiness: Hold a pen in your teeth.

Dan Baker

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