Humor
Red Skelton’s Tips for a Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere…..but she keeps finding her way back. 4. […]
Weddings
Funny isn’t it. Most girls seem to marry men like their fathers. Maybe that’s the reason so many mothers cry at weddings.
Do you believe me ?
============================= . Think of a number from 1 to 10 . . . Multiply that number by 9 . . . If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together . . . Now subtract 5 . . . Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with […]
Pilot error
. TODAYS RIDDLE: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps? /\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/ A river . […]
Piano
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor!
English?
English signs in foreign countries Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.” Doctors office, Rome: “SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: “DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. In a Nairobi restaurant: “CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.” On a […]
Old man thinking
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to […]
Country Funeral
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave side service for a derelict man who had died while traveling through the area with no family or friends. The funeral was held way back in the country. This man would be the first to be laid to rest at […]
In the beginning there was the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Warning: satire In the beginning there was the Flying Spaghetti Monster – UK Telegraph (fwd) (Filed: 11/09/2005) In recent weeks, a satirical attack on the teaching of Creationism in American schools has become the world’s fastest growing ‘religion’. The Noodly Saviour looked at the furore He had created and pronounced it good, writes James Langton […]
More Definitions
ABDICATE (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. CARCINOMA (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. ESPLANADE (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. WILLY-NILLY (adj.), impotent FLABBERGASTED (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. NEGLIGENT (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer […]
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