Humor
Happy Marriage
On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no ‘I’ in the word ‘marriage.”’ The wife said, “For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling.”
Early
Ok, what is the deal with “The early bird gets the worm”? He gets up early, and all he gets is a worm? It says “the worm,” which means one single worm. That seems not very fair, for a bird that goes through the trouble of getting up early. Myself, I would rather sleep late […]
10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow
10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow 1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code 2. Graphics arrive via FedEx 3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection 4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later 5. Your credit card expires […]
Three Times Seven
Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?” “22,” Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to […]
Passing Pain
An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.” “Why not,” he asks. She answers back, “Because I’m dead.” The husband says to her, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together […]
White Hairs
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her […]
The Drug Problem in America
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ”Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?” I replied: I had a drug problem when […]
Two Mexicans
Two Mexicans, On the Run Two Mexicans on the run are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. At the point of just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, one of them suddenly takes a deep sniff… “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of […]
Noah
Speaking of Noah God asked Noah to build a new Ark He said he wanted it 3 stories high AND he wanted it filled with fish. Noah asked why God said that in these days of massive shopping centres that he thought a 3 story carp Ark would be a good idea…….
Computers
Computers run because they have smoke built into them. When the smoke gets out, the computer stops working.
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