Humor
Humor
I was going shopping to buy a gift for my wife and asked her for her sizes. “If it is clothes it’s small’ “If it’s diamonds, I wear Large” ============================= If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a […]
Another Riddle (etc.)
TODAYS RIDDLE: A horse travels a certain distance each day. Strangely enough, two of its legs travel 30 kilometers each day and the other two legs travel nearly 31 kilometers. It would seem that two of the horse’s legs must be a kilometer ahead of the other two legs, but of course this is not […]
Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating A 15-Pound Cheeseburger
Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating A 15-Pound Cheeseburger A US Restaurant is offering a 15 Pound ( 6.82kg ) Cheeseburger – Cost = $35 (US ), 16 inches across. 10. “Does this restaurant have a defibrillator?” 9. “Am I that hungry or should I order the 12-poud cheeseburger?” 8. “Does it come with fries?” […]
John Paul II’s Baseball Card Creates Buzz
May 09, 2005 3:24 PM EDT The sports trading card generating the most buzz among collectors right now doesn’t feature a baseball, basketball or football player. This captivating athlete was a soccer goalie who also liked skiing, swimming, hiking and kayaking. His name: Pope John Paul II. A one-of-a-kind card featuring the pontiff’s autograph was […]
This & That
THIS & THAT: Ringside Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.” Grand Prix Race Announcer: “The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it, which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in […]
MEN!
BECAUSE I’M A MAN (This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.) This is my gift to all my ladies who are wives, moms, sisters, mothers, etc. Enjoy!! Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, […]
The Plot
Last month Martha Stewart’s aunt wanted to dig up her potato garden but it was very difficult work for the old woman as the ground was very hard.Her favorite niece Martha, who used to help her with the gardening, was in prison for lying to the government about Insider Trading and Stock Fraud. So, the […]
Mother’s Day
Job Description POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mummy, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mamma, Ma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. […]
Speeding
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago […]
Oil Shortage
OIL SHORTAGE 101 . A LOT OF FOLKS CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAME TO HAVE AN OIL SHORTAGE HERE IN OUR COUNTRY. . WELL, THERE’S A VERY SIMPLE ANSWER. . NOBODY BOTHERED TO CHECK THE OIL. . WE JUST DIDN’T KNOW WE WERE GETTING LOW. . THE REASON FOR THAT IS PURELY GEOGRAPHICAL. OUR OIL […]
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