Humor
Church humor
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. “Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk. “Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady. ======== “Somebody has well said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There […]
Yesterday Computer Song
“Mark and Bev Tindall” wrote in message news:… *Yesterday Computer Song* Do you know the song “Yesterday”? Then sing along to this computer version. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, There’s not half the files there used to be, […]
Important quiz for Professionals
Important quiz for Professionals The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a ” professional. ” Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put […]
Updating Christianity
The elder priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, “I know you were reaching out to the young people when you had bucket seats put in to replace the first four pews. It worked. We got the front of the church filled first.” The young priest nodded and the old one continued, “And, you told […]
Heaven and hell
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone […]
Dog License
During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, “Does your dog have a license?” “No,” the man said, […]
Diver in the Forest
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive tank, flippers and face mask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from […]
Road Closed
Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way. They […]
Are You My Waiter?
Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the waiter. “Yes?” asked the busy waiter. “Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Max. “Why do you ask?” replied the waiter. Max replied, “Because I was expecting he would be a much older man by now.”
Retirement At The Inn
Why didn’t somebody tell me? With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 […]
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