Humor
Money Call
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again but had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, reverses the charge and says to his dad, “I need to borrow two hundred dollars.” At the other end, […]
Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
“Mark and Bev Tindall” wrote in message news:… Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. — (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. — Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) 3. […]
Wise men
In a small Southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, […]
Pastoral visit
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When […]
Grandma’s Meat Loaf
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. “Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it’s just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it’s the one you gave me. But it just didn’t come out right, and I’m […]
Husband’s Estimate
Joe’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?” Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, […]
Awake Tip
Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers to reboot. One man told me he’d been a long-haul truck driver. I’d love to drive a big rig,” I said, “but I’d worry about falling asleep at the wheel.” “Here’s a tip […]
Theories Of Cat Behavior
LAW OF CAT INERTIA A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. LAW OF CAT MOTION A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. […]
Remember When
An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to the old man, “Remember when we were younger and you used to hold my hand?” The old man grabs the old woman’s hand. Then she says, “Remember when we were younger and you used to put your […]
Moses and the 10 e-mails
Moses and the 10 E-mails: “Excuse me, Sir.” “Is that you again, Moses?” “I’m afraid it is, Sir.” “What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?” “How did you guess?” “I don’t have to guess, Moses. Remember ?” “Oh, yes; I forgot.” “Tell me what you want, Moses.” ” But you already know, Sir. […]
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