Humor
Children’s Message
A pastor was giving the children’s message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children’s church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, […]
Funny Remarks
Funny remarks! “I’m going fishing.” Really means: “I’m going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.”Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” […]
Gifts for mother
Gifts 4 Mama Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful … doctor, engineer, accountant and lawyer and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, “I […]
Rules for Editing
Some of you have noticed a few typos in the CleanLaugh list now and then. To improve this I am now using a new set of rules for editing. 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. […]
Hymns For All Occasions
HYMNS FOR ALL OCCASIONS The Gossiper’s Hymn – “Pass it on” The Tax Office Hymn – “All to Thee” The Tailor’s Hymn – “Holy, holy, holy” The Electrician’s Hymn – “Send the Light” The Shopper’s Hymn – “Sweet by and by” The Politicians Hymn – “Standing on the promises” The Golfers Hymn – “There is […]
Blondes (obviously no Political Correctness in USA)
A year of blondes in review………………. 1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. 2. Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope. 3. Can’t work in a pharmacy because the bottles won’t fit into the typewriter. 4. Got excited because she finished […]
Cat Prayer
Prayer Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I […]
Pilots’ Reports
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and […]
Ten Commandments, Cowboy Style
Cowboy’s Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas. (1) Just one God. (2) Honor yer Ma & Pa. (3) No telling tales or gossipin’. (4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin’. (5) Put nothin’ before God. (6) No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal. (7) No killin’. (8) Watch yer […]
Isn’t That Nice?
Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texas lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice??” The […]
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