Humor
Returning The Money
“Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?” a parishioner asked his minister. “Definitely not,” was the preacher’s answer. “Are you absolutely certain?” “Yes, my son, absolutely.” “Okay. In that case, I wonder if you’d mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?”
Florist Friars
The good friars were having a difficult time meeting the payments for the new belfry they’d put in the monastery, so they decided to open a flower shop to get a little extra cash. They did so, and were very successful. Apparently, everyone in the village wanted to purchase their posies from these godly men. […]
Trapper And His Stove
An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the […]
Ever Wanted To Be A World Famous Writer?
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great,” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream in disbelief, […]
It’s So Dry
ABC Sydney Radio held a competition to finish the sentence “It’s so dry in Sydney………….” ~~~ It’s so dry in Sydney that…………… HIH Insurance has come out of liquidation. If the England cricket team wasn’t touring we’d never see ducks. The Red Cross has launched a wet blanket appeal. We’re actually drinking the new Vanilla […]
U N Survey
Last month, the UN conducted a worldwide survey. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a HUGE failure. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t now what “honest” meant. […]
Shopping
I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “Dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the check-out […]
And You Think You Had A Bad Day!
author unknown [There may be just one or two people here who haven’t read this] I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more […]
You Didn’t Know Evolution Was Funny?
Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078 Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post, Hominid skull.” We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it […]
Reasons Not To Wash
1. I was forced to as a child. 2. People who make soap are only after your money. 3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter. 4. People who wash are hypocrites – they think they are cleaner than everyone else. 5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide […]
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