Humor
Children On A Plane [2]
Re: http://jmm.org.au/articles/7798.htm “Children on a plane” – I like the one about the flight attendant who had one too many altercations with some children on a flight. Finally she said, “If you won’t sit down and be quiet you’ll just have to play outside.” I understand that this strategy works in a car too!
The Chicken And The Road – Again
George W. Bush: “That is a chicken. It crossed the road because it is running toward something. It is running toward a secret cache somewhere in the woods. Make no mistake. In that cache we will find eggs of mass destruction.”
Why Are Dogs Like Men?
Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. […]
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD SOME ANSWERS WORTH CONSIDERING!!!!! GEORGE W.BUSH: U.S.PRESIDENT. We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground […]
Children On A Plane
About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep. No amount of reasoning seemed to […]
Smile!
EVER WONDER where we are headed… …why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? …why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? …why you don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”? …why “abbreviated” is such a long word? …why doctors call what they do “practice”? …why you have to click […]
What Is A Grandmother?
(written by 8-year-olds). A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own. She likes other people’s. A grandfather is a man grandmother. Grandmothers don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if […]
Books For Sale
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month…..Wife knows everything.”
Vice-President
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!” “Really?” […]
Doctor’s Prescription
Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor’s fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass. Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium. It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to […]
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