Humor
Red Alert – House Guest
Even though this woman is residing in MY house, she may at some time appear in yours. Be on the alert! A very weird thing has happened. A strange old woman has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did […]
Leave Pass
A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an officer for a pass and was told he had to be back by 7 p.m. Sunday. “You don’t understand, sir,” my friend said. “I’m in the wedding.” “No, YOU don’t understand,” the officer replied. “You’re in the […]
Top 45 Oxymorons!
45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd 29. Business ethics 28. Soft rock 27. […]
Pilots And Engineers
Message After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower […]
More Trivia
No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times if folded in half repeatedly. Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there. (so, the smart mosquito will only bite where it senses nobody) Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at […]
Axes Of Evil
I thought we could all do with some light relief from John Cleese, looking at recent world events. Axes of Evil, by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the “Axis of Evil”, Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the “Axis of Just as Evil”, which they said would […]
Cat Story
A man hated his wife’s cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing […]
Payment
A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth […]
Appearances
On a recent weekend in Las Vegas, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. “I’ll be right back and we’ll go to eat,” […]
Asking For A Raise
A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work. First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there he would have to answer one question. The priest asked, “Where […]
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