Humor
Logic
Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm. Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad. Homer: Thank you, dear. Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away. Homer: Oh, how does it work? Lisa: It doesn’t work. Homer: Uh-huh. Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock. […]
Chamomile Tea
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. Doctor: “What happened?” Woman: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp.” Doctor: “I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile […]
Angels
I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. Gregory, age 5 Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it -Olive, age 9 It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still […]
Birthday Present
I recently purchased a teddy bear for ten bucks. I called it Mohammed, and then sold it for 20 bucks. My question is, have I made a prophet? ************************************************************ One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a […]
Math Teacher Arrested
A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He […]
Spread the stupidity
Only in America ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America ……do banks leave both doors open and […]
This Ought To Make All Grandpas Feel Warm & Fuzzy
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room … “Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!” “What?” said […]
A Two letter word
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. (if you’re not you should get a chuckle anyway.) It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then, that’s probably true of many languages.) There is a two-letter word […]
How nations deal with terrorist threats
This one’s been around for a while. It’s good for folks who can’t easily laugh at their (national) traits… The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A […]
If you’re going to choose a phobia, try this one…
http://funnyjokesnpics.blogspot.com/2009/12/wierdest-phobia.html Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher http://jmm.org.au/ Justice for Dawn Rowan – http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/
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