Humor
An Apple A Day
While visiting a friend in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a little apple jewelry pin. I stopped one and asked her what the pin signified. “It’s just to keep the doctors away,” she said with a smile.
The Patient
A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted: “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!” The doctor calmly responded: “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Widow’s Mansion
Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for miles was a large mansion. They knock on the door and a beautiful widow answers the door. Since it is early evening and the garage will not be opened until morning, she offers to let them spend the […]
Jury Duty
Called for Jury Duty Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn’t believe in capital punishment and didn’t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was […]
How Sweet
=-=-=-=-= Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. […]
Work
Signs you have nothing to do at work 1. You’ve already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2000 2. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis. 3. You’ve figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island. 4. You decide to see how many Mountain Dews […]
Old Doc Carver
Old Doc Carver was a family practitioner who still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bed- room a minute after he’d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, “Do you have a hammer?” A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went […]
At The Bar
“What do you want to drink, Donkey?” one of the men asked. “A..A…A pa…pa..pi..pint o..of gi…gi..gi Guinness A..a pint of Guinness please.” The other man goes up to the bar. “Two pints of Guinness for me and my mate Donkey.” The guy takes the drinks back. “Here you go,Donkey.” Later when they finished their drinks […]
Who Am I?
Who Am I =-=-=-=- The president went to visit a nursing home. He walked up to a lady in a wheel chair and said, “Mam, do you know who I am?” She answered, pointing, “No sir I don’t know who you are but if you go up to that desk they can tell you.”
Dress Your Children
The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest baby. “When we had just four children, I dressed them alike so we wouldn’t lose any of them. Now,” she added, looking around at her brood of nine, “I dress them alike so we won’t pick […]
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