Humor
Business Trip
A husband went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. “She spent every night at the front door, awaiting your return,” she said. “What an example of true love,” The husband replied. “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?” “Honey,” […]
Greedy Lawyer
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too closely and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side. Within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any […]
Divorced
=-=-=-=- A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. “Sorry, he doesn’t live here anymore, we’re divorced!” Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex- wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. […]
Didn’t Do It
Did’nt Do It One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you […]
Chicken Test
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crack from the carcass impact, it’ll survive […]
Last Request
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning […]
Can You Relate?
Just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with a very serious condition, and there’s no hope I will ever recover. The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure….This is an ailment many of us suffer from and may not as yet have been diagnosed; however, now you may be […]
Aussie Blokes
On the eve of “Australia Day” 2001 something about us, cobbers. Basic Guide to Aussie Life 1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm. 2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you. 3. Whether it’s the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery,there is no Australian event that […]
Police Check
A police officer pulled a man driving a pick up truck over to the side of the road. “What’s the matter officer?” the man asked as he rolled down his window. “I don’t think I was speeding.” “You weren’t speeding,” replied the officer. “You have a taillight broken, sir.” “What?” The driver got out and […]
Education 8-)
Things teachers would love to write on students’ report card but can’t: 1. Since my last report, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. This student has delusions of adequacy. 4. This student sets low personal standards and then consistently fails […]
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