// archives

Humor

RSS feed for this section
This category contains 5241 posts

Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

Collars

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

Wow! This is one to ponder! Cheers, Edward Chinn, Know what this says??? A priest was walking along the school corridor near the preschool wing when a group a little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his […]

Valentine’s Day Story

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The balding man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying them all. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]

Lessons From The Ark

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

All I really need to know about Life… I learned from Noah’s Ark: (01) Don’t miss the boat. (02) Don’t forget we’re all in the same boat. (03) Plan ahead-it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. (04) Stay fit – when you’re 600 years old someone might ask you to do something really big. […]

Church Bulletin Notices

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

Real notices from real church bulletins: Ushers will eat latecomers. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning. Miss Charlene […]

Hmo Faq’s 8-)

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care By David Lubar Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if […]

Job Application

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida……..and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! ================================= NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I […]

Dear Pastor (Letters From Kids)

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

DEAR PASTOR (letters from the kids) Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix Dear Pastor, My father […]

Florist Friars

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back […]

Santa Claus

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ Post a comment

SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer ¢s Perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an […]

Typesetter’s Nightmares

By and others ⋅ January 5, 2003 ⋅ 2 comments

Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 06:37:54 +1000 (GMT+1000) From: Jan Groenveld <> To: Undisclosed recipients: ; Subject: Typesetter's nightmares OOPS! In 1631, King Charles I ordered 1,000 Bibles from an English printer named Robert Barker. Only after the Bibles were delivered did anyone notice a serious mistake: The word “not” had been left out of […]

« Previous — Next »