Humor
Training Courses For Men
Training Courses Now Available for Men 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead 5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? – You CAN Tell the […]
Cat Rules
I. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and scratch the frame. You may also reach under the door and pull clothing towards you; silks get the quickest reaction. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered […]
Sharing Faith
A kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their faith to class. At the appropriate time she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, “I am Muslim and this is my prayer rug.” The second child said, “I am Jewish and […]
Drive-Through Fun
Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful descriptive adjectives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume. Speak a foreign language (make one up […]
Deja Vu
Blessings and Peace Brigid Sent: Friday, 21 January 2000 8:08 You’ve probably heard of “deja vu,” the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions Feel like I’ve… …milked this cow before: deja moo …seen this strange animal before: deja gnu …smelled this bad odor before: deja […]
If You Can…
If you can … If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones […]
New Computer System
Tokyo, Japan, Feb 20 Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft’s Windows and DOS systems, Sony’s chairman Asai Tawara said, “We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face […]
What Nationality Was Jesus?
Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus. Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence…….. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN: 1. His first name was Jesus 2. He was bilingual 3. He was always being harassed […]
How To Know You Have Children
How To Know Whether or Not You Are Ready to Have Children… Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you maysubstitute roofing tacks) Have a friend […]
Y2k Solution
From: The Year 2000 Team has defined a lower cost alternative for desktop conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: 1. No Y2K problems […]
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