Humor
English language
No wonder non-english speaking people have problems with the language. The bandage was wound round the wound The farm was used to produce produce The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse We must polish the Polish furniture He could lead if he would get the lead out The soldier decided […]
True or False?
In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of thumb” ——————————————- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word […]
True Love
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends’ home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much […]
Fly
A male fly was buzzing around, searching for good-looking females when he spied a real cracker sitting on some cow manure. He dived down rapidly and then hovered before her. “Pardon me,” he asked, “is this stool taken?”
Another Light Bulb joke
Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE / PMT does it take to change a light bulb? Woman’s Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the […]
French Navy Recruiting Slogan
“A l’eau! C’est l’heure!” Get it? Say it aloud, in French. “Allo Sailor”. Good moaning.
Irish pall-bearers
I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were 4 Irish pall bearers walking around with a coffin. 3 hours later they were still walking around with it …. I thought to myself…….. Have these silly b’s lost the plot? I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were 4 Irish pall bearers walking around […]
Angels explained by children
(Angels explained by children) I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.~~~Gregory, 5 Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.~~~Olive, 9 It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still […]
Risk-taking and Testosterone
I’m a Carefree Cretin, Which isn’t hard to be. What e’er I do, you can be sure, Involves a Search Party. I’ll wander off into the Bush, Entirely unprepared; Causing fuss, and much expense. What? Do you think I’m scared? I’ll go too near edge of a Cliff, Fall, and break some bones. It’s better […]
How’s this for insulting language?
Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable sodding rotters, the flaming sods, the snivelling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulseless lot that make up England today. They’ve got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it’s a marvel they can breed. They can nothing but frog-spawn – […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress