Humor
Bush Parrot
Laura Bush bought George a parrot for his birthday. She told Dick Cheney, “The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to mispronounce over 200 words!” “Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” Cheney said. “But you realize that he just says the words. He doesn’t understand what they mean”. “That’s okay,” Laura replied. “Neither does […]
‘Behold I Come Quickly!’
This text reminds me of the ol’ time preacher who shouted ‘Behold I come quickly!’ and thumped the pulpit so hard that it collapsed, and the preacher fell into the lap of an astonished lady in the front row… ‘At least you warned me’ she said — Shalom! Rowland Croucher http://jmm.org.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)
No Luck WithThe Ladies
No Luck With The Ladies A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.” “What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired. “Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just […]
Common Sense Learning Centre
Autumn Classes for Men at THE COMMON-SENSE LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Monday, Oct 30, 2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 […]
$20 dollar bill
There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were laying there side by side the $1 dollar bill said to the $20 dollar bill, “Hey mannnnnn, where have you been. I haven’t seen you in a long time ?” The […]
Bottle of Wine
THE BOTTLE OF WINE For all of us who are married, were married, wish You were married, or wish you weren’t married, this Is something to smile about the next time you see a Bottle of wine: Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly […]
Firefighter
There was a fire in my neighborhood, and I arrived just in time to see firefighters carry one of their men out of the burning house and lower him to a sitting position on the lawn. Visibly shaken, he took out a cigarette, lit it, and sat there puffing on it to calm his nerves. […]
Defining ‘tragedy’
Prime Minister John Howard was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”. So the illustrious leader asked the class […]
Quick Thinking
A Banbury senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. […]
Bigotry
The headmistress at a girls’ prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: “We’re having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend.” “Why of course,” the Lieutenant answers. […]
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