Humor
For every understanding male
BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG… YOU DON’T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH I’M […]
Churches: you never know…
From a friend: Last week her friend had a cat for many years and it finally died. Because the friend was ederly, frail and lived in a unit she couldn’t bury the cat in the backyard so she placed the dead cat in a box and wrapped it in brown paper with string around it. […]
Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, […]
Get ready
Bet you all wanted to know this…. LOL At three minutes and four seconds after 2 AM on the 5 th of June this year, the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07. — Shalom! Rowland Croucher http://jmm.org.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)
Gender of computers
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la Casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz..” A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male […]
Outback
Queensland cow cocky was grazing his herd on the long acre of a remote pasture in outback Queensland when suddenly a brand-new and shining 4WD emerges from a dust cloud. The driver, a bloke in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes and Yves St Laurent silk tie, slides down the window and asks the farmer, “If […]
A GOOD DINNER SPOILED
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his […]
Short Sayings
I dialled a number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” ~~~~~ At pilots training, […]
Moral of the Story
IN 1923 WHO WAS: 1. President of the largest steel company? 2. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the NY Stock Exchange? 4. Greatest wheat speculator? 5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6. Great Bear of Wall Street? THESE MEN were considered some of the world’s most successful of their […]
Catholics and money
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could you be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an […]
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