Humor
Inflatable school
(From a Usenet joke group conversation): Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School say to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a lecture?? A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends […]
Bank Balance
Q: What’s the hardest thing about playing golf with your wife? A: Having to say, “Great shot, Honey!” 142 times =========================== My wife Carol and I were visiting her 95-year-old grandfather when he asked us to take him to buy a new hat. Carol took me aside. “I’m worried that he doesn’t have enough money, […]
Critters are Smarter than People Think!
by Catherine Sadler, Ramah, CO, USA The thread of Smart Kitty reminded me of so many stories written here about our pets doing actual thinking and planning. I have several stories of various critters I could tell about that I swear are cognizant! For instance, here is the story of Banty Hen: (yes, I know, […]
Grandma and the Goose
by Hazel Az, Phoenix, Arizona, USA I have several “bird” stories. We lived on a farm from the time I was 12 and my mother had a huge incubator. We raised some of the strangest looking birds you have ever seen along with the normal geese, chickens, ducks, turkeys, etc. The one story that comes […]
I’m Fine, How Are You?
“I’m Fine ~~ How are you?” There’s nothing the matter with me, I’m just as healthy as can be, I have arthritis in both knees, And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze. My pulse is weak, my blood is thin, But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in. All my teeth have […]
The Four Ghosts of the White House
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, “George, what”s the best thing I can do to help the country?” “Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” Washington advises, and then fades away… The next […]
Accident
Then there was the optometrist who fell into a lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
Married Couple
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.” The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the […]
Abbott and Costello and Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on… If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, “Who’s on First?” might have turned out […]
Sleeping at desk
FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK 5. “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.” 4. “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time Management course you sent me to.” 3. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. […]
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