It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain t he same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there ain’t nothing worse then an oversensitive woman. . My name […]
From a humor newsgroup: Vale Dave Allen – may your gods go with you. Loved his attitude towards the “Royal Family”. “I have a soft spot for the royal family….its a bog in the East of Ireland.”
(~) What is Love? Even the great philosophers, with profound definitions, could not fully touch love’s true essence more clearly than in a survey of children who are 4 to 8 years old where the kids share their views on love: “Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in […]
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled inside the heart, which then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst […]
Did I send this to you already? I can’t remember. NEW VIRUS Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the “Senile Virus” that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it . so be warned. The virus appears to affect those […]
Lesson Learned A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a class on observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. “This,” he explained, “is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste.” After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his […]
Tax defaulters in southern India are being forced to face the music after city authorities hired drummers to play non-stop outside their homes until they pay up. The (Melbourne) Age ‘Odd Spot’ 12 March 2005
Schmidlap walks into a theatrical agent’s office, and he’s carrying a little black bag. The agent says, “Well, let’s see your act.” Schmidlap reaches into the black bag and takes out a hammer and a few walnuts. He puts the walnuts on his head and smashes them with the hammer. He says to the agent, […]
Customer: Worcestershire sauce crisps please Shopkeeper: Sorry can’t, it’s off the shelves, cancer scare. Customer: Oh right, Chinese Chicken Wings? Shopkeeper: Ah that’s the same , Cancer scare Customer: Hamburger Relish? Shopkeeper: Cancer scare Customer: Sausage and Mash? Shopkeeper: Cancer scare Customer: Cottage Pie? Shopkeeper: Yes, …no wait, Cancer scare. Customer: So they’re all off […]
The consequences of “revival”. Three churches in a small town decided to conduct a combined churches “revival mission” – to “reach the lost”.. After the revival had concluded, the three ministers were discussing the results with one another. The Baptist pastor said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new people.” The […]