Humor
Explaining God
by Danny Dutton, age 8 Third grade homework assignment to “Explain God” “One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things here on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller […]
Children’s Prayers
Prayers as Heard By Children From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as “Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name.” I always thought that was God’s real name. Groton, Mass: My mother spent her early childhood saying, “Hail Mary, full of grapes.” Missoula, Mont: My son, who […]
Church Signs
“The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.” ————————— “Under same management for over 2000 years.” ————————— “Soul food served here.” ————————— “Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!” ————————— “Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!” ————————— “Don’t wait for the hearse to take you to church.” ————————— “Don’t give up. […]
Bulletin bloopers
GOD HAS MADE ME LAUGH, AND ALL WHO HEAR WILL LAUGH WITH ME. ( GENESIS 21:6 *NKJV ) It is said that laughter is the best medicine. So today we shall share a laugh or two, for after all, our Heavenly Father has a sense of humor and; HE WHO SITS IN THE HEAVENS SHALL […]
Rid of rats
Jim: I finally got rid of the rats in my backyard, but it cost me my barbeque. Bob: Why? Jim: Because I threw it at them.
Heaven and hell
Thomas Edison dies and goes to heaven. He gets up there and sets up his lab and begins doing experiments and inventing things. After a while he tells God that it’s too noisy — choiry angels singing praises 24/7, the noise is driving him =crazy=. So he packs up his lab and goes to Sheol, […]
Timeout
An irritated father complained to his golf buddy: “When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own color TV, telephone, computer, every computer game and CD player in his room!” “So how do you handle it?” his friend asked. “I send […]
Oh My Oh Me
Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget’s Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, amazed, astounded, unsettled.
Comic Relief
1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.” (The Daily Telegraph) […]
The End My Friend
http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm
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