Humor
The truth
One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went […]
Wedding symbolism
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”
Engineer and the Guillotine
They’re leading a preacher, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the preacher if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The preacher said that he would like to face up so he would be looking toward Heaven when he died. They raised the blade of the […]
Facial expressions
Charles H. Spurgeon, the prince of preachers, was emphasizing to his budding preacher’s class the importance of making one’s facial expression harmonize with one’s speech. “When you speak of Heaven,” he said, “let your face light up, let it be irradiated with a heavenly gleam, let your eyes shine with reflected glory. But when you […]
Lesser Known Laws
Okay, you’ve heard of Murphy’s famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Lawsl. Here are some: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. –Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair Identical parts aren’t. –Beach’s Law Any tool, when dropped, will roll into […]
Poor Widow
A woman’s husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, “How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just a few days before your husband […]
Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation
7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are “All right, listen up you heathens…” 6. He falls asleep during his own sermon. 5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top. 4. Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, “Why can’t they just leave me alone?!” […]
Ever Riden a Honda?
A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, “Yes?” “Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?” “No I haven’t” The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The […]
Big Date
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers,and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?” He thought this was a great strategy and […]
Christian Names For the Days of the Week
“Mark and Bev Tindall” wrote in message news:… Dear brothers and sisters It has come to my attention that fellow Christians are following worldly lusts and the flesh by calling the days of the week after pagan gods. I quote: Sunday – sun worship Monday – moon worship Tuesday – Twi – Anglo saxon god […]
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