Humor
Jewish Joke
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desertwhen he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties. The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?” The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would […]
No standing at any time as Belarus moves on still life
Ilya Mouzykantskii, Moscow July 31, 2011 A youth is arrested by plainclothes policemen at a peaceful protest in Minsk, Belarus. Photo: AFP IRON-FISTED authorities in Belarus have responded to a burst of creative modes of protest by young protesters with a strange innovation of their own: a law prohibiting people standing together and doing nothing. A […]
The Arrogance of Authority
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there,” as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer […]
The absolute best Little Johnnie joke
Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnies’ family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if […]
LEXIPHILES (Double Meanings Of Words)
1. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 2. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 3. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 4. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. 5. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 6. The batteries were […]
Humo[u]r 22/07/2011
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.” Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.” The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?” She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.” ========================== A […]
Nuances of English language
“UP” Lovers of the English language might enjoy this: How do non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English? There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, […]
Prayer for Computer Users
Dear Lord, Every single evening As I’m lying here in bed, This tiny little Prayer Keeps running through my head: God bless all my family Wherever they may be, Keep them warm and safe from harm For they’re so close to me. And God, there is one more thing I wish that you could do; […]
Lead-foot
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph;enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.. “Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in […]
That’s how the fight started
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift… The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started… ______________________________ I took my wife to […]
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