Humor
Humo[u]r
Hoover! Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, “Hoover!” under his breath. On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time. On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. […]
Humo[u]r
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year- old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, son.” “Good morning pastor” replied the […]
Humo[u]r
A Baptist preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning. It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy, and told the preacher that he would attend his church IF the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so […]
ONLY IN TEXAS ….
Texas Beer Joint Sues Church in MT.Vernon, Texas … Drummond's Bar began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up untli the week before the grand reopening when lightning […]
TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS
¯ » ¿ I am sending this only to my smart friends. I could not figure it out. My first thought was wrong and I had to look at the answer. See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common. 1. Banana 2. Dresser 3. Grammar 4. Potato 5. Revive 6. Uneven […]
Clean humo[u]r
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, “If you don’t stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow […]
Good-night Prayers
Prayer of the Selfish Child Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break… Shel Silverstein Prayer on the Run Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my secret keep […]
Clean Humo[u]r
A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa , ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’ ‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’ ‘Twelve thirty.’ ================================= Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages? Peter: Because […]
Clean Humo[u]r
A man consults a therapist and states, “Doc, I’m suicidal. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Pay in advance.” =========================== Did I Read That Sign Right? In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER…… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In […]
Baptist Cowboy
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and […]
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