Humor
Women’s Wisdom
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. These days they walk even further back and suddenly seem happy with the […]
Deep Puddles
DEEP PUDDLES A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. “Think it’s safe to cross?” the man asked. “I reckon so,” replied the farmer. The car was immediately […]
Bad idea!
:=o Bad idea! Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.” “Popular Mechanics,” forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 “I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best […]
Careful what you eat
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the […]
You’ve Got Mail
A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened […]
I have forgotten why I am sending this!!
Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded… God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I’m ‘older’ (but refuse to grow up), here’s what I’ve discovered: 1. I started out with […]
Tech support
PEOPLE WONDER WHY TECH SUPPORTS ARE PAID SO MUCH FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK: 1). Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer “Ok. Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?” Customer: […]
Homilies To Live By
;=] Homilies To Live By Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” […]
Wisdom in Shorts
***** UFO’s are real. It’s the Air Force that doesn’t exist! A synonym is a word you use if you can’t spell the other one. I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. Money Talks … but all mine ever says is Goodbye! I’m in shape … round’s a shape isn’t […]
Making It Off The Island – Blonde Joke!
Making It Off The Island There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” She swam out five miles, and got really […]
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