Humor
Fishing Trip
“So, what’s the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband.” “Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. “All that […]
Senior-itis
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The melody out of music, […]
The sin of lying
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had […]
The Prescription
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,”she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is […]
Pub or Heaven?
DRINKIN’ ‘TIL HE’S IN HEAVEN Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said,” Leave this pub right now!” He then approached a second man. “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” […]
Special Delivery
Due to a power cut at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. […]
Pests
There were four country churches in a small Alabama town: The Presbyterian church, the Baptist church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the […]
More Questions with no answers
If a mime curses, do you wash their hands with soap? Is there a synonym for synonym? If you cat jumps out the car window is that considered kitty litter? What is the opposite of progress? Congress?
Questions with no answers
Questions with no answers. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?” Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s rear.” Can a hearse carrying […]
Annual Stella Awards
Once again, it’s time to review the winners of the Annual Stella Awards. The Stella’s are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself & successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds & the […]
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