Humor
Dave Could Do It!
A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Dave.” “Who?” “Dave Bronson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like […]
Another Blonde Joke
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me…………I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “Accordingly to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her […]
Dna
“What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association”.
10 Commandments (Laodicean Recension)
1. I am the Lord thy God; thou shouldst consider me relatively important. 2. Thou shouldst not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, unless thou art really ticked off and can’t think of another way to let off steam. 3. Once in a great while thou shouldst take a break and […]
Oops!
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay […]
Only In America
Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the […]
Work Phrases Explained
Activate: To make carbons and add more names to the memo. Advanced Design: Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency’s copywriters. All New: Parts not interchangeable with existing models. Approved: Needs revising Automatic: That which you cannot repair yourself. Channels: The trails left by interoffice memos. Clarify: To fill in the background with so many […]
Ever Wonder
EVER WONDER …. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made […]
New (Senile) Virus
NEW VIRUS Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the “Senile Virus” that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it ….. so be warned. The virus appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960! Symptoms of the […]
The Three Bears
“It’s a sunny morning in the Old Forest and the Bear family are just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?!” he squeaks. Poppa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his […]
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