Humor
Baseball Ignorance
My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers one night. Our seats were right behind the third-base line. At the top of the first inning, the batter hit a foul ball. Miraculously, I managed to catch it on the fly. As I sat down, […]
Holy Humor
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.” =========================== While driving in Pennsylvania, […]
Computer Installation
Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we decided to call the customer support phone number we found in the manual. I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him. […]
St Patrick’s Day
Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? A. Sure now, but them regular rocks be way too heavy, don’t you know. ~~~ ~~~ For Sale (Maybe)….. Murphy was selling his house and put the matter in an agent’s hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful […]
Cleanliness
1st customer: . . . I’ll have tea. 2nd customer: . . . Me, too. And be sure the glass is clean! ( The waiter exits, and then returns after a while. ) Waiter: . . . Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?
A Bad Cook
You Know You Are a Bad Cook When… – You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. – You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece. – Your dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat. – Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk. – When you barbecue, […]
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign […]
A History Lesson
Wal, due t’lack of fundin’, European histo’y is obviously not th’ strong point of th’ South Car’linan ejoocayshunal system, dawgone it. So less corncentrate on mo’e impo’tant thin’s: THE COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA aka THE LAND OF THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE French an’ Indian Wars: OK, we […]
The Pet
A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to […]
Bill Gates In The Afterlife
Bill Gates died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he’d like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped his fingers. They appeared on a sunny beach, with […]
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