Humor
Banking
Why NOT?….. While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from […]
Signs Of The Times
1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?” 4. Your daughter sells Girl […]
Medical Update
A little old Jewish woman calls Mount Sinai Hospital and says, “Hello, darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected, or is getting worse.” The woman is transferred to Patient Information and asked, “What […]
Responses To Emails
I don’t know about you, but I find those “Out-Of-The-Office” E-Mail Auto-replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives. 1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 2. Thank you for your message, which […]
Price Of Ham
My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill. “Well Mary,” said the man, “Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm worth at least $137,000.”
Doctor’s Advice (More)
Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, its Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Lets go get a beer.” —————————————- A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of […]
Running Late
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb […]
Sharks And Prawns
There were two prawns, named Harold and Christian. They spent their days crawling around on the bottom of the sea, and the days all seemed the same. Harold began to think that there must be more to life than this, so he went to see his fairy Cod mother! Yes, I can help you, Harold. […]
Business Wanted
A sign at a business establishment in Philadelphia, PA: “WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE AMERICAN” This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups […]
How Government Works
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said “someone may steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress