Humor
An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, […]
In My Next Life
In my next life, I want to be a bear… If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. If you’re a bear, you birth your children while […]
The Heavenly Voicemail
MessageThe Heavenly Voicemail – (and you didn’t think it could happen there!!). Thank you. You have dialled 0077-777-777 and we thank you for calling heaven. For English press 1 For Hebrew press 2 For all other languages, press 3 Please select one of the following options: Press 1 for request Press 2 for thanksgiving Press […]
Doctor’s Advice
A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year old patients with a very beautiful, well-built young lady on his arm. He was looking the happiest he had ever seen him. When the old guy noticed the doctor he went up to him and […]
Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House
1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver. 2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help. 3. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid. 4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can […]
Feel Old? (More)
A phew of my memories from 56 years ago: Horses and carts. Trams. Trolleybuses. Steam Engines. Scammel 3-wheel vans and BR artics with 3-wheel front ends painted in “Blood and Custard” livery. (BR=British Rail) Euston Road was two lanes and Seaton Street Market was still there. (They demolished the market to widen the road and […]
Is It True? (More)
No word in the English language rhymes with “MONTH.” ( like pint, orange and purple, you can do it with limericks: You really mutht be quite a dunth To think not a word rhymeth with month.)
Is It True (More Feedback)
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. [this one is dubious and probably untrue] (Coca-Cola is still going strong, however, holding down the #1 spot as the world’s highest-ranked brand name in both 2001 and 2002, followed by Microsoft and IBM. Rounding out the top ten are […]
Is It True? (More)
A phew small additions: Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there. I’m getting old. I don’t know I’m there either sometimes. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from […]
How Many Internet Mail List Subscribers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,343 – 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed; 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been […]
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