Humor
Selling Paint
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price? Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What’s the difference in […]
Signs You’ve Chosen A No Frills Airline
You can’t board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get […]
Email Responses (Another One)
Thank you for subscribing to our mailing list. From time to time we pass subscribers’ addresses to other organisations offering similar kinds of goods and services. To unsubscribe, simply send a blank e-mail to (do not insert anything here) — Sue ];(:)
What A Life!
This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He’s been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying. “Come on man, I was just giving you […]
Friends
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad […]
Taxi Driver
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver […]
More Sayings
1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place! 2. When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping”; now I just go “chunky dunking.” 3. The early bird still has to eat […]
That’s Hot!
We are Missouri residents and we have a serious drought situation. It is NOT funny! but we have to be able to laugh sometimes no matter what. A neighbor of mine shared this with me yesterday! YOU ARE IN Missouri IN August WHEN… The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of […]
Feel Old? (And Still More)
Going back just a little further Bulk milk delivered daily to your kitchen. Not pasteurised and full cream. Yum. Bulk flour, sugar, etc. at the grocer’s shop Ice boxes and daily ice deliveries. Nightsoil removal and outside loos. It was safe to walk through the park, or anywhere, at night even if you were a […]
What Would Jesus Eat?
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/02/24/1046063966949.html Jesus diet February 25 2003 New York: Jesus has joined the US fight against fat, featuring in a diet dubbed “the healthiest ever devised by man”. Drawing on the inspiration of loaves, fishes and wine, a doctor from Florida has published a self-help manual called What Would Jesus Eat?, and a companion volume, the […]
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