Humor
Earthquake In New Zealand
A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter Scale has hit New Zealand this morning. 350,000 New Zealanders are missing, and over 100,000 have been reported injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn’t know where to start with providing assistance. The rest of the world is in shock: Canada is sending troops […]
Another Classic Church Bulletin Blooper
36) Sunday’s sermon: “What is hell like?”. Come and hear our new choir sing!
Another Idiot At Work
Then there’s the one about the blonde who was vacationing in Florida. She got to Orlando and saw a sign that said, “Disney World left”…so she turned around and went home.
English Language
My alarm clock goes off by going on, by coming on, by turning on, or by sounding off, which are all the same. But when a guy and a gal are together, going off, going on, coming on, turning on, and sounding off are five very different things.
Wonder Why?
1.. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2.. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3.. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4.. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5.. Why do we say something […]
Bear Hunting
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. When the enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He […]
Job Recommendations
“A man like him is hard to find.” “It seemed his career was just taking off.” For the office drunk: “I feel his real talent is wasted here.” “We generally found him loaded with work to do.” For an employee with no ambition: “He could not care less about the number of hours he had […]
Why?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there is 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint on it you will have to touch it to be sure!
The English Language
Let’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore […]
Evolution
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving […]
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