Humor
Complaints
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth […]
Angry Motorist
An angry motorist went back to a garage where he’d purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier. “Listen,” the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, “when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!” “Sorry,” […]
St Bernard
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.” The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?” “Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s […]
Store-Owner With Problems
A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, “Do you have any small note-books?” “Sorry,” says the manager. “We’re all out.” The woman shrugs, and asks, “Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?” “Nope, don’t have that either,” says the manager. The woman feels her stomach rumbling and […]
The Cobal Programmer
Jack was once a COBOL programmer in the late 1990’s who (after years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the UNIX programmers and Client/Server programmers and website developers, etc.) was finally getting some respect. You see, he’d become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. He was […]
Jobs
So where is Jeopardy? Apparently there are hundreds of jobs there! “Job’s in jeopardy” was a headline in the Judean Bugle. Unfortunately Job didn’t get a copy that day and shortly after was totally surprised when God smote him mightily.
More Classic Church Bulletin Bloopers
1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. 3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are […]
The Boss
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist.The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.The man stormed into […]
Queues
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines , surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I […]
Pets
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, “Where do pets come from?” ‘And Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. […]
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