Humor
Twelve Days Of Christmas
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in […]
The Byte Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a user was using … not even a mouse; The programs were hung from the bugs in their code, In hopes that a guru would soon cure their woes; The data were nestled all snug in their beds, While versions of software danced in […]
Web Addiction
“Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.” – Dave Barry ~~~ Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along! ~~~ (Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”) Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’, I’m happy — although My boss let me go […]
The Bible In Fifty Words
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled, Bush talked, Moses balked; Pharaoh plagued, people walked. Sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed. Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born. God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died. Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
Fathers And Sons
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. “I’ll make a deal with you,” said his father. “You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, and then we’ll talk.” A month […]
[More] Idiots At Work
Apologies for any breach in netiquette, but I’ve lurked long enough and I couldn’t pass this thread up – I’ve had far too many incidents for one lifetime, some so unreal that if I wrote them down people would think they were fiction. Some of them I’ve listed below, I know the number and length […]
Sacred Cows
(It’s worth our while to ponder what the critics say, sometimes)… Malachi 2:3 [God said:] “Behold I will … spred dung upon your faces.” Sacred cows make the best hamburger. (Mark Twain) Why do people in churches seem like cheerful, brainless tourists on a packaged tour of the Absolute? (Anne Dillard) The problem with born-again […]
The English Language – Another Example
How, in the English language, can the same word occur 5 times consecutively in a gramatically correct sentence? Imagine the landlord of the “Frog And Nightgown” pub, complaining to the signpainter about his new sign: “You’ve left too much space between Frog and And and And and Nightgown!”
The Perks Of Being Over 60
1 No one expects you to run – anywhere. 2 People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 3 There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 4 Things you buy now won’t wear out. 5 You can eat dinner at 4pm. 6 You can live without sex (but not without glasses). 7 You […]
Friends
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise,shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress