For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: “There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” he began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being — […]
The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. TUESDAY: […]
Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also […]
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asked. “Sweetheart,” she sobbed, “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the […]
Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea. It plainly marks four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a quay and type a word and weight four it two say Weather eye yam wrong oar write. It shows me strait a weigh as soon as a mist ache […]
I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy every minute of it. “Welcome to L.A. Now go home.” Get Revenge, S___ on a pigeon Don’t Steal…………..The Goverment hates competition!
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novocain because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous […]
I asked my doctor “If I gave up wine, women and song, will I live to be a hundred?” He replied “No, it will just seem like it.”
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. “That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?” “Sure,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my […]
Message WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS New York Times 1-22-03 Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling okay. George Turklebaum, 51, who had been […]