Humor
Something Missing
A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, “Why didn’t you bring the piano, too?” “Are you trying to be funny?” she replied. “No, I really wish you had” he sighed. […]
Shotgun Wedding
MessageTRUE LOVE Remember when… A woman awakens during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, […]
Welcome To The New House
Top ten things you don’t want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home: 1. “I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home’s garden.” 2. “Actually, it’s only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground.” 3. “Yes, […]
Various Humours
There are three truths in life: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah…. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith….. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store. —————————————————————————————— Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked […]
Scottish Hospital
An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. Towards the end of his visit he is shown into a ward with several beds, whose occupants seem to have no obvious signs of injury. But as he approaches the first bed, the patient pipes up: “Fair fa’ yer honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e’ […]
Tough Teacher
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. […]
How The Internet Began
MaizeHow the Internet Began In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She […]
Un Survey For The World
Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a huge failure…. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what […]
Children’s Wisdom
“Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals.” – Donna Maria G, age 9 “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you.” – Rob P, age 8 “If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it.” – Steven B, age 8 “Moses came […]
Chickens
The farmer’s son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the […]
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