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Humor

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Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

Getting Senile

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood and are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. They walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.” On their […]

Santa Can’t Be A Woman

“Santa Can’t Be A Woman” Some of you may have seen the one passed around about why Santa is a woman. Well, here is why Santa is not a woman. Santa cannot be a woman because: No woman would be caught dead in the same outfit two years in row. No woman would be willing […]

Fear Of Flying?

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the cabin crew has assured them that the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off immediately after that. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms […]

Doctor And Nurse

A doctor friend of mine was in a Chinese restaurant the other day – odd really, as he’d just got back after three years in Hong Kong – anyway, he noticed how well the waiter spoke English. Eventually he asked if the waiter would translate something that had been bothering him for a while. Before […]

The Pastor’s New Bifocals

A pastor went into the pulpit one Sunday morning wearing a pair of new bifocals. The reading portion of the glasses improved his vision considerably, but whenever he looked through the top portion of the glasses he got dizzy. He explained to the congregation that the new glasses were causing problems, then said, “I hope […]

Pastoral Visitation

A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. “Mind if I have a few” he asks. ” No, not at all” the woman replies. They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he […]

Pronunciation

Two tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would […]

Dentist Joke

“So I went to the dentist. He said “Say Aaah.” I said “Why?” He said “My dog’s died.'”

Wise Quotes

“Smoking kills, and if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” -Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields “Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas” -Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery “The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it’s only the people that make them unsafe” -Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo […]

Whatever Happened To All The One-Liners?

I don’t know, what did happen to all the good old fashioned one liners 😉 but here’s one: A guy with money to burn may find a girl who wants to play with fire.