Humor
Hints On Pronunciation
I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble but not you, On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through. Well done! And now you wish, perhaps, To learn of less familiar traps? Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird, And dead: […]
One Says To The Other
Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?” Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?” ~~~ Two cows in a field: One says “MOOOOOOOOOOOO !” T’other says – “Aaarrrrgggghhh – I was going to say that […]
The Market Researcher
Man with clipboard knocks on door. Door is opened by a moron. Moron – Yerssss? Man – Hello, I’m doing some market research. Is your father in? Moron – Nahhh! He’s in jail. Man – Oh! (ticks clipboard). Can I speak to your mother then? Moron – Nahhh! She’s on the game down the pub. […]
Getting Into Heaven
One Christmas Eve, three Irishmen died and approached the Pearly Gates. St.Peter met them and told them to go away and come back the next day, as he was way too busy with Christmas Eve to attend to them right then. They pleaded that they had no place to go and for St. Peter to […]
Ever Wonder?
EVER WONDER?EVER WONDER where we are headed… …why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? …why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? …why you don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”? …why “abbreviated” is such a long word? …why doctors call what they do “practice”? …why you have to […]
Racist Irish Joke
Ireland`s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
The Doctor’s Verdict
A fellow comes home very depressed. His wife asks why, and he says “Oh, I went to the doctor’s for a checkup, and after the tests came back, he told me I got a flucky.” “So, what’s a flucky?” “I was too embarrassed to ask but it’s probably fatal.” “Well, I’ll call him if you […]
Milkman
Real Notes to British Milkmen…… Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. Cancel one pint after the day after today. Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep […]
The Santa Story
You’ve always had your doubts about the Santa story, but lacked convincing proof that he’s a myth? Here’s the dirty on the Christmas charlatan. First, no known species of reindeer can fly. There are an estimated 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, the […]
The Santa Story
Rowland and Jan Croucher wrote: Yes, yes, yes you’ve heard this before, but some haven’t… OK :-)? ~~~ You’ve always had your doubts about the Santa story, but lacked convincing proof that he’s a myth? Here’s the dirty on the Christmas charlatan. http://jmm.org.au/articles/6349.htm —snip— Ah yes, but I inadvertently ran into a counter to this […]
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