Humor
Son’s Clothing
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son’s room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents. By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50-cent tip […]
Things People Think About While Singing In The Choir
25. I wonder if anyone out there notices I forgot my lipstick this morning. 24. If Samson were here, would he be disappointed that we don’t have any stone pillars for him to lean on? 23. I wonder who in the congregation will fall asleep first today? 22. 90 minutes till kickoff. 21. How many […]
Mind Reading – Cause Of Death
One day a young man was visiting the fair, over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said “For 50 dollars I’ll teach you to be a mind reader! Apply within.” So the young man thought that he’d give it a go, and went inside. Behind a small table inside was […]
Puns – Bad Ones!
Here are some really bad puns 1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, new rules are: only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The […]
Heard These?
A man living in New Jersey had just bought a new mobile home and learnt that he had to pick it up from the other side of New York and drive it all the way back. He realised that to do so he would have to pass right through Manhattan, a very serious driving risk, […]
No Nativity Scene In Washington
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation’s capitol. There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.
Microsoft Bid For Vatican
F u n n y B u s i n e s s +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Microsoft bids to acquire Catholic Church by Hank Vorjes VATICAN CITY – In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, Microsoft Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in […]
The World According To Student Bloopers
Richard Lederer St. Paul’s School One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through […]
Strange Warnings
Here are some more strange warnings on items. On a packet of juggling balls: “This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.” Seen on a camera: “This camera only works when there is film inside.” On a […]
Improving English
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. […]
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