Humor
Some Very Helpful Tips From Kids
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. […]
Some Quotes
It’s hard to know where to draw the line – Martin Creed, Turner Prize winner “Smoking kills, and if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” -Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields “Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas” -Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery “The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it’s […]
A Supposedly True (Cricket) Story
The scene: Australia v Zimbabwe McGrath was bowling to Eddo Brandes, the portly Zimbabwean. First he was nicked over slip for 4 and next was slashed through cover for 4. McGrath glared at him and said “Why are you so fat?”, to which the quick and very Zimbabwean style reply came “Because every time I […]
Bosnian Footballer
A British Soldier, whilst on patrol in Bosnia, happens upon a young lad kicking around a spent shell case with not inconsiderable skill. The two end up chatting and the soldier says, “Would you like to play football in England? A great friend of mine knows Alex Ferguson, the man in charge of the top […]
Pick A Number
1) pick a number from 1-10 2) subtract 5 3) multiply by 3 4) square the number (multiply by the same number) 5) Sum the digits. (i.e. 646+4=10) 6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4. 7) multiply by 2 8) subtract 6 9) Map the digit to a letter […]
Eye Test
Quick Eye Exam… This will blow your mind…! Just do it – don’t cheat!!!!!!!!!!!! Try this its actually quite good. But don’t cheat! Count the number of F’s in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS Managed it? Scroll down only after you […]
Accident Report
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day […]
Worse Joke Ever
Well, maybe not as bad as the blue tile or the brown stick, but here goes: There is a daddy camel and a little boy camel. One day, the little boy turns and asks his daddy, “Daddy, why do we have such long eyelashes?” The dad replies, “Well son, its to keep out the sand […]
The New Missionary
A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn’t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was […]
Two Snakes
Two snakes were talkin and one says to the other “Fred are we them sort of snakes that bite people, or are we the kind that squeezes them till their eyes pop?” Fred replys “Dunno George why ?” George replys “Coz I just bit my tongue”
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