Humor
Church Ladies With Typewriters
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: 1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. 2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING […]
Mother-In-Law
Bill and his wife were taking the trip of a life time. They were going at last to see the Holy Land. Two weeks before they were to leave Bill’s wife sprung it on him. “I’ve asked mother to come along with us. I think she would love the experience and it could be the […]
Laws Of Life
* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. * Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or […]
Men’s ‘Secret Business’ Question
If a man is alone in the forest talking to himself… Is he still wrong?
Highy Contagious
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.”This is your doctor. […]
The Elephant
An elephant and a boa constrictor were swimming in the jungle, when the elephant spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock. The elephant walks over to the turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far into the jungle. “What did you do that for?” asked the boa…The elephant answered, “That turtle […]
Guest
When Queen Victoria reigned in England, she occasionally would visit some of the humble cottages of her subjects. One time she entered the home of a widow and stayed to enjoy a brief period of Christian fellowship. Later on, the poor woman was taunted by her worldly neighbors. “Granny,” they said, “who’s the most honored […]
Rebooting And Starting Over
(~) Rebooting and Starting Over The following are some new error messages that were suggested for use under Windows 2000: 1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4) Press any key… no, no, no, NOT […]
Doctor’s Advice
Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” Morris replied, “Just […]
Red Lights
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car — both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have […]
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