Humor
Graffiti Messages
Back in a minute.Godot In the beginning was the word, and the word was AARD-VARK To do is to be Rousseau To be is to do Sartre Do be do be do Sinatra I enjoy sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. Am I flogging a dead horse? Psychology is merely producing habits out of rats. Tutankhamun’s will […]
The World Of Advertising
The CEO of Inghams manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, “Your eminence, we have an offer for you. Inghams is prepared to donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ […]
How You Can Tell It’s Going To Be A Lousy Day
You wake up face down in the gutter You put your underwear on backwards – and it fits better You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold A Sixty Minutes crew is waiting on your doorstep Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles You turn on the news, and they’re […]
Odd Stories
1. AT&T fired President John Walter after only 9 months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million dollar severance package. Perhaps, it’s not Walter who lacks intelligence! (Internet) 2. A lady went to the grocery store to complain to the grocer. “There’s something wrong with this flour you sold me,” she said. […]
Pushing The Right Buttons
“Welcome to the Psychiatrists’ Telephone Hotline. Please hold and follow these instructions: · If you are obsessive compulsive, press1 repeatedly · If you have multiple personalities, press 2,3 and 4 · If you have a drug problem, press hash · For advice on paranoia, we know who you are and what you really want. Please […]
Believe It Or Not
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. All Polar bears are left-handed. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. […]
Ooops
I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing […]
Calm Down
A protestant minister was driving down the road going south. Driving from the north was a Catholic priest and each of them were admiring the beautiful spring day and suddenly they had a collision. Each jumped from their cars and began to question if the other was fine! All was fine!! They were obviously shaken […]
Doctor’s Orders
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by […]
Two Sons
Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, “My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.” The other woman said, “Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a woman […]
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