Humor
Sign Over Church Creche
‘We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed’
A Modern Bible Story
One day God spoke to Noah, and He said, “Noah, in six months I shall make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water. I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet, to start anew, so I am ordering you to build […]
Who Is The Boss?
There are three guys talking in a restaurant. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives; the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?”The […]
Quotes
I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets. I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad […]
You And Your Boss: The Subtle Differences
*You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences* If you take a long time, you’re slow. But if your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. If you don’t do it, you’re lazy. But if your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. If you make a mistake, you’re an goober. But if your boss makes […]
The Metric System
Why Some Countries CAN’T Go Metric! If the metric system did ever take over, we’d have to change our thinking to the following: * A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers. * Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward. * Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child. * Twenty-eight grams of prevention […]
Signs Of The Times?
As a tribute to that well-known Italian muralist, Signor Graffiti, I share with you the following: Graffiti rules – OK Aussie rules – orright Dyslexia lures – KO Synonyms govern – all right Roget’s Thesaurus dominates, regulates, governs, reigns – O K, adequate, stamp of approval Irish drama rules – O’Casey Nostalgia rules – Hokey […]
Hymns For The Over 50 Crowd
Hymns for the over 50 crowd Just a Slower Walk with Thee It is well with My Soul, But My knees hurt. “Nobody Knows The Trouble I ‘Have Seeing'” “Precious Lord, Take My Hand”, And Help Me Up “Count Your Many ‘Birthdays’, Count Them One By One.” “Go Tell It On A Mountain”, But Speak […]
It’s What You Do In Texas
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a McDonalds for a coke. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the restaurant, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and […]
Bulletin Bloopers
Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.” “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping […]
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