Humor
Gender Of Computers
A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, Unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” is feminine-“la maison.” “Pencil” is masculine-“le crayon.” A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups – male and female – and […]
Airline Funnies
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!” After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, […]
More Church Bulletin Bloopers
The following are from actual Church Bulletins – announcements that were misspelled due to typos, or Public Announcements that were just badly put together in the first place. * Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from […]
Medical Information
A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, “Hello, darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. But, I don’t want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected,or worse. I want to know all the information from top to bottom, from A […]
Humoiur: Airlines
Airline funnies! “As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the […]
The Difference Between Focus On Problems, And Focus On Solutions
The Difference Between Focus on Problems, and Focus on Solutions: When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn’t workat zero gravity. (Ink won’t flow down to the writing surface) In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade and […]
It’s All In The Word
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, “Can I speak to Alf, please?” “No! There’s no one called Alf here,” says the person who answered the phone. His father […]
The Tollgate
When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The men picked up each broken piece of the former […]
In The Beginning… :-)
(This is clearly sexistly offensive, so beware). In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day. On the […]
Hurts To Touch
You Make Me Laugh A daily dose of clean jokes. http://entertainment.crosswalk.com *Hurts to Touch* A goober was constantly complaining about how everywhere she touched her body, it hurt. Her grandma told her to go and see a doctor. Once there, the goober explained to the doctor how everywhere she touched, it hurt. She said, “If […]
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