Humor
Yes/No
A blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet “Yes” […]
Mental Health Problem
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young […]
The Cajun 10 Commandments
1. God is number 1 …an das’ all. 2. Don’t pray to nuthin’ or nobody…jus’ God 3. Don’t cuss nobody…’specially da Good Lord. 4. It’s Sunday…pass yauself by God’s house. 5. Yo folks dun did it all…lissen to dem. 6. Killin dem duck and goose, dat’s OK …people–no! 7. God gave you a wife…sleep wit’ […]
14 Useful Expressions For Those High Stress Days
1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of *!#*!* sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. Do I look like a *!#*!* people person? 4. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 6. You! Off my planet!! […]
*Top Ten Signs You Are At A Bad Baptismal Service*
10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9. The service is held at Splash Mountain Water Parks. 8. Pastor wears scuba gear. 7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from “Jaws.” 6. The preacher uses a “Billy the Bass” singing “Take Me to the River” instead of the traditional “Shall We Gather at […]
104
A 104 year-old woman was being interviewed by a reporter: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure”.
Baptist Dog
A Baptist couple felt it important to own an equally Baptist pet, so they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in Baptist dogs, they found one that they liked a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, […]
Paint – And The Churches
Rowland Croucher wrote: > [I’ve flown with Qantas for years, and was twice with them in the last week. > However… P.S. There’s a religious point here, if you can find it :-)] > > First a reprise of how ordinary hardware stores sell paint: Customer: Hi. > How much is your paint? > > […]
Pronunciation
A man and his wife were driving through the beautiful Welsh countryside one day when they came across a roadsign which read: lanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch” (The longest town-name in the world). The husband says the name and his wife laughs. “That’s not how you pronounce it”, she says and proceeds to say it herself. Her husband nearly […]
*Juan The Smuggler*
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them […]
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