Humor
The Time
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on […]
How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were […]
Mice
Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing. “What did you find?” he asks. “I’m not sure,” comes the answer from the second mouse. “It looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see… Ah, yes. It’s from ‘Gone […]
Mathematics
Although there were only enough cookies for each child to have three at a party for little folks, young Bobby took four. “You’re supposed to get only 3 cookies, Bobby,” said the hostess. “You ought to put the fourth one back.””Can’t,” exclaimed Bobby. “I ate that one first.”
Lost
A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer. “Do […]
Paint And Qantas
First a reprise of how ordinary hardware stores sell paint: Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Shop Assistant: We have normal quality paint for $18 a litre and premium paint for $25. How many litres would you like? Customer: Five litres of normal paint please. Shop Assistant: Great. That will be $90. Now, imagine […]
Dogs
CANINE LIFE RULES If dogs could teach us we would learn things such as: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them; Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride ; Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy; When it’s in your […]
Chocolate Mathematics
CHOCOLATE MATHEMATICS DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute……. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week […]
Forgetfulness
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in, pauses, and yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94 year old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” […]
The Lock
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers […]
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