An old man was walking through the park, enjoying the day, when he spies his good friend Ernie sitting on a park bench crying… Both being friends, and both over 80 years old, he takes an interest. Sitting down beside Ernie he asks ” Whats wrong buddy?” Ernie chimes ” You wouldn’t believe it, here […]
A cheerful truck driver pulled up at a roadside cafe in the middle of the night for a dinner stop. Halfway through his meal, three wild- looking motorcyclists roared up–bearded, leather-jacketed, filthy. For no reason at all, the selected the truck driver as a target. One poured pepper over his head, another stole his apple […]
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, “If I had all the beer in the world I’d take it and throw it in the river.” With even greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river.” […]
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. “The flight to Egypt,” said Kyle. “I see… And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,” […]
A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent on a mission to find an airplane that had crashed on top of a mountain. It was their duty to rescue any survivors. After finally reaching the top of the mountain, they came upon the crash site. At the site, one lone survivor sat with […]
The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day […]
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes up […]
A young man was pulled over by the Mississippi State Police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man’s window. “Why ya driving so fast for boy? You going to a fair? Let me see your license, boy.” The young man handed over […]
The Herald Sun’s 25 Best Newspaper Headlines of 2000 : 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say 2. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 6. Is There a Ring of Debris around […]
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?” “No,” replied the trainee. […]