Humor
Cutting The Grass
Riding a power mower while doing grounds maintenance work in Southern California, I usually wear several items to protect myself, including safety glasses, dust mask, and cowboy hat. One day as I walked into our shop at lunchtime, a co-worker called out, “Look! It’s the Lawn Ranger!
Grandma Shoes
When I was very little All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old. I’d have to wear […]
Neutral Game
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. “Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and […]
Mink Coat
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier discreetly whispers to the man, “Ah, sir, […]
Walking Economy
This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.” The friend replies “How so?” “My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!”
Two Brothers
The priest was instructing a class of third-graders at All Saints grammar school. “There were two brothers, and one of them chose the wicked path of Satan. The brother was evil and corrupt and did great damage to many people, and wound up a convicted criminal in a tiny, dark cell. “But the other brother […]
Memory School
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have done for the past 35 years. Max, the older, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Ed said to Max, “You did very good tonight. You didn’t […]
Fishing
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. “Tsk Tsk!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see […]
Ice Fishing
There were two old boys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their […]
Female Apparel
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife” What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man. “There is more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed […]
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