Humor
Say A Little Prayer For Me !
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. […]
Jonah And The Whale
A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the preschool Sunday School classroom between Sunday School and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her up for “big church.” The pastor noticed that she clutched a big storybook under her arms with the obvious title, “Jonah and the Whale.” Feeling a […]
Signs You Live In The New Millennium
1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?” 4. Your daughter sells Girl […]
Thanksgiving Black Turkey
Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching for all our USA friends. I guess it is time for them to review the Black Turkey recipe. Anyone who uses this recipe to it’s fullest will not feel any pain P.s. This is a genuine recipe but very funny …… ——————-Black Turkey, circa 1963————————– For about a dozen years, at […]
Bell-Ringers
Quasimodo is retiring from Notre Dame Cathedral and is auditioning bell-ringers. He runs an ad in the French Gazette. A guy from a nearby village applies. Quasi explains to the applicant that to ring the bell, he must grab the rope as high up as possible, pull it down to the floor and then let […]
Blonde On A Plane
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving. Not wanting to argue […]
Lord Help Me
**Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am PST **God help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive. **God help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they’re usually NOT my fault. **God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, […]
Men Are Like…….
Men are like…..Place-mats. They only show up when there’s food on the table. Men are like…..Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like…..Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. Men are like…..Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like…..Copiers. You need them […]
Definition Of Outdoor Barbecuing
It’s the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion. (1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on […]
Taxi Driver
A taxi was driving down a busy main road, The taxi’s passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the […]
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