Humor
Gynaecologist Visit
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynaecologist. “Come now,” coaxed the doctor, “you’ve been seeing me for years! There’s nothing you can’t tell me.” “This one’s kind of strange..” “Let me be the judge of that,” the doctor replied. “Well,” she said, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and […]
Bible Quiz
The following are answers given by students from Williamston Presbyterian Church, South Carolina, to test questions on the Bible, originally printed in the December 31, 1995 issue of National Review. – Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. – Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. […]
Old Lady Next Door
Worried because they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the neighbouring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, “Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?” A few minutes later, Timmy returned. “Well,” asked Mrs. Silver, “is she all right?” “She’s fine, except that she’s mad at […]
2 Words
======= A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. he’s allowed to say two words every 7 years. After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring […]
Two Week Holiday
A man went to Florida for his health but after two weeks he died and his body was shipped back home for the funeral. Two friends stood looking at him as he lay in his casket. The first man said, “Doesn’t he look wonderful?” The second friend replied, “Yeah, I think those two weeks in […]
Borrowed Laughs
Borrowed Laughs #6 Annoying??? 61. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 63. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. 65. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at […]
How Many Sheep
A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: “If I can […]
Murphy’s Law
These aren’t Murphy’s Laws but some of them should be “The Law of Volunteering” If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. “The Law of Avoiding Oversell” When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. “The Law of Common Sense” Never accept a drink from a […]
*How To Speak English Properly*
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less […]
Can’t Go To Heaven
The teacher asked her preschool class, “Now, how many of you would like to go to heaven?” All the children raised their hands except Tommy. The teacher asked Tommy why he wouldn’t like to go to heaven. Tommy answered, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. My mother told me to come right home after Sunday school.” […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress